I’ve entered my last week of being a 27 year old. This time next week, I’ll be all of 28, and pushing into my late twenties. It’s a bit of a reality check to me at the moment. Twenty eight means I’m close to 29, which freaks me out a little.
How can I sum up this past year? There seems a lot of different words that I can say, but the only word that resonates throughout my soul, and feels “just right”, is the word productive. The last year has been productive. It has been just one thing after another; like a check off a to-do list:
- Get your bonus? CHECK.
- Force your redundancy? Unsuccessful, and could not be helped - NEXT!
- Look for a new job? CHECK.
- Find and win the perfect job? CHECK.
- Buy a car? CHECK.
- Buy a house? CHECK.
- Become one of the best and most respected engineers within the department? CHECK.
- Win a contract with the new job? CHECK.
- Take work less seriously? Umm.. half a CHECK.
- Buy the sofa? CHECK.
- Find a boy? CHECK.
- Buy the damn cutlery set you’ve been eyeing the past few years? Definite CHECK.
It has been Bam! Next? Bam! Next? Bam! To-do list done. Well, they mean more to me than just a check off a list, but it has been just one thing after another. Did I achieve everything I wanted? Almost. Redundancy issue aside, the only thing I’ve felt I haven’t really succeeded in doing is taking work less seriously. In a way, I feel I have, but not as much as I would have liked. I don’t stress in this new job like I did at PLA; the politics doesn’t drive me bananas like it did back to Post. I love the work, I love the challenge, I like the team. It’s just the hours that I haven’t been able to force, and I’m working on that.
But that feels like a catch-22 at the moment. I want it all right now: I want the pay, more responsibility, more recognition.. but less hours. Catch-22. And I know it doesn’t work like that. I can’t be seen as the best damn engineer within this business without putting in some hard hours. The more you’re wanted, the more you’re requested by your peers to work alongside them, which equates to more projects you work on, which realistically leads to more hours. So, which have I accepted lately? Sure, I’ll take the extra hours for now while I’m building my reputation within this business, but that’s not where I want to be in the long run.
I must admit, it’s not that bad, though. Sometimes I stay back late, sometimes I leave early. Sure, the late nights back outweigh the early exits, but I still feel I have a better work/life balance now than I did at PLA, or even Transit. So I’m enjoying work.
This past year has been productive. Extremely productive. I feel so settled with my life. I feel so comfortable with where I’m at. It feels good. For the first time in what seems like a very, very long time, I feel.. happy. This time last year, I was freaking out a little bit. I felt like I hadn’t achieved anything with my life yet: no assets to my name, a job I knew I was excelling in, but still felt unsatisfied. Now that is the perfect word: unsatisfied. I knew I could do more, I knew I could achieve more, and I felt very unsatisfied with where I was in life. And yet, within a year, albeit a long, hard year, it’s all paid off.
Plans for the next year? I actually wouldn’t mind things staying as they are for a little longer. I’m thoroughly enjoying myself at the moment, experimenting with the finer things in life. The only missing link I feel there is now, is.. Love. Such a big word in my little world. The possibility of love. At least I’m not closed to the idea anymore, as I have been these past many years. I’m finally open to the possibility again, and it scares me. It really does. But oh well, sooner or later, I’ll have to take the plunge. How successful will I be? I’ll let you know around the same time next year.
For now, I want June to be over. But more than that, I want to enjoy this last week of being 27. I want to savour every little piece of it, even though I’m exhausted, even though I’m drained, even though I’m sick, but mainly, for the sheer reason that I’m happy. Happier than what I’ve felt for a long, long time.
Savour it while I can.
Yes.
How can I sum up this past year? There seems a lot of different words that I can say, but the only word that resonates throughout my soul, and feels “just right”, is the word productive. The last year has been productive. It has been just one thing after another; like a check off a to-do list:
- Get your bonus? CHECK.
- Force your redundancy? Unsuccessful, and could not be helped - NEXT!
- Look for a new job? CHECK.
- Find and win the perfect job? CHECK.
- Buy a car? CHECK.
- Buy a house? CHECK.
- Become one of the best and most respected engineers within the department? CHECK.
- Win a contract with the new job? CHECK.
- Take work less seriously? Umm.. half a CHECK.
- Buy the sofa? CHECK.
- Find a boy? CHECK.
- Buy the damn cutlery set you’ve been eyeing the past few years? Definite CHECK.
It has been Bam! Next? Bam! Next? Bam! To-do list done. Well, they mean more to me than just a check off a list, but it has been just one thing after another. Did I achieve everything I wanted? Almost. Redundancy issue aside, the only thing I’ve felt I haven’t really succeeded in doing is taking work less seriously. In a way, I feel I have, but not as much as I would have liked. I don’t stress in this new job like I did at PLA; the politics doesn’t drive me bananas like it did back to Post. I love the work, I love the challenge, I like the team. It’s just the hours that I haven’t been able to force, and I’m working on that.
But that feels like a catch-22 at the moment. I want it all right now: I want the pay, more responsibility, more recognition.. but less hours. Catch-22. And I know it doesn’t work like that. I can’t be seen as the best damn engineer within this business without putting in some hard hours. The more you’re wanted, the more you’re requested by your peers to work alongside them, which equates to more projects you work on, which realistically leads to more hours. So, which have I accepted lately? Sure, I’ll take the extra hours for now while I’m building my reputation within this business, but that’s not where I want to be in the long run.
I must admit, it’s not that bad, though. Sometimes I stay back late, sometimes I leave early. Sure, the late nights back outweigh the early exits, but I still feel I have a better work/life balance now than I did at PLA, or even Transit. So I’m enjoying work.
This past year has been productive. Extremely productive. I feel so settled with my life. I feel so comfortable with where I’m at. It feels good. For the first time in what seems like a very, very long time, I feel.. happy. This time last year, I was freaking out a little bit. I felt like I hadn’t achieved anything with my life yet: no assets to my name, a job I knew I was excelling in, but still felt unsatisfied. Now that is the perfect word: unsatisfied. I knew I could do more, I knew I could achieve more, and I felt very unsatisfied with where I was in life. And yet, within a year, albeit a long, hard year, it’s all paid off.
Plans for the next year? I actually wouldn’t mind things staying as they are for a little longer. I’m thoroughly enjoying myself at the moment, experimenting with the finer things in life. The only missing link I feel there is now, is.. Love. Such a big word in my little world. The possibility of love. At least I’m not closed to the idea anymore, as I have been these past many years. I’m finally open to the possibility again, and it scares me. It really does. But oh well, sooner or later, I’ll have to take the plunge. How successful will I be? I’ll let you know around the same time next year.
For now, I want June to be over. But more than that, I want to enjoy this last week of being 27. I want to savour every little piece of it, even though I’m exhausted, even though I’m drained, even though I’m sick, but mainly, for the sheer reason that I’m happy. Happier than what I’ve felt for a long, long time.
Savour it while I can.
Yes.
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