The inner struggle

Do people hurt when they themselves know they've hurt someone? After all these years, I still feel like I'm finding my way in this world. I've hurt someone again, and this time it was just stupidity on my part. I'm better than this, right?

Sometimes I feel like just breaking free from these shackles I've placed on myself. Why am I suffering? Actually, am I suffering? Or just confused? Am I really that bad? I don't think I am. Actually, I think I'm a pretty good person. I don't drink, I don't swear, I don't go around upsetting people intentionally, I'm very careful with my words for that very reason. I go out of my way to try and not hurt people, but in the process, am I sacrificing part of myself for that? I certainly don't think I'm too good a person, certainly not.

But I'm wondering today: should I break free from everything I've restricted myself from these past few years, to really taste life? Or will I look back years to come and regret things? I haven't regretted much in a long time, and yet, just recently, I regret two small actions.

Or am I better than all this? Can I continue to be the person I've been trying to be without compromising on life itself? I've always thought the two can come hand in hand, but lately, it's beginning to look increasingly harder to live life fully, and yet within my boundaries.

I'm struggling today. I'm confused. Tomorrow will be clearer.

It must be possible. Must be. I won't accept anything less.