I was reading through my earlier entries from years ago. I'm glad I wrote down my thoughts back then, because I remember the events now, quite clearly, and my state of mind back then. It's been a long time since I networked with people. I think the move to Sydney will do me good. I'm not sure whether I've written about it or not, my whole life at the moment is a bit of a blur to me.
Things to do, things to organise, things to check off, things to book in, people to call, time to spend with family and friends, not enough time. Time. Time of procrastination. Time to pack. I'm terrible at packing. I hate it. I'm just not very good at it. It takes me a ridiculous amount of time to pack. Something I must get better at doing, because I seriously don't have time to sit and waste on packing.
My tomato trees have begun to bear fruit! They started budding during the week, and now I have small green cherry tomatoes growing. Gosh, I'm excited. The things I get excited about these days. I've become such a domesticated person. I'm not complaining, by the way.
I wanted to write something on here, something specific, but once again, my thoughts are scattered and I don't really remember what I wanted to write about. I'm fast beginning to see how little time I have left in Melbourne, so I suppose I want to make the most of it. At the same time, I'm not spending enough time in Sydney to do anything really productive with my time either at the moment. I'm in limbo in between the two cities. I feel a little like a gypsy, moving from city to city, home to hotel, hotel to place of residence, and soon, even my home will be classified as something different.
My room doesn't feel like my room anymore; my house doesn't feel like my home anymore. It's strange to think I'm moving in January, which sounds far away on paper, but I'm fast realising that I have very little time left. Time is becoming more and more precious to me with every passing day, and I feel like I'm either wasting it away, or procrastinating, or not being productive with my time. I think that's what annoys me a little at the moment.
I'm babbling. My thoughts. They've been scattered, they're not logical, my mind has gone all loony, I feel. I'm used to my mind organising things into little logical sequences, that I can see and map out clearly in my head, and visualise everything. At the moment, I can't see that map. I see bits and segmented pieces, but nothing is flowing, nothing is meeting together.
It's why I'm feeling.. not me. I don't feel lost or confused.. I just feel.. scattered. And I need to break this segregation, and somehow join the dots. But I can't yet see the logical pattern.
I don't think I'm making any sense. It makes sense in my head, though. I just need to find a way to do this. I'm usually pretty good at stuff like this: maybe this is why I'm bothered. That I'm not thinking clearly. I probably am thinking clearly, but it's not clear to me.
I need something solid to hang to, to grasp, to give me a bit of direction. I need to map this out.
It's a very odd feeling. Let's hope it goes away soon. I don't feel like me.
Things to do, things to organise, things to check off, things to book in, people to call, time to spend with family and friends, not enough time. Time. Time of procrastination. Time to pack. I'm terrible at packing. I hate it. I'm just not very good at it. It takes me a ridiculous amount of time to pack. Something I must get better at doing, because I seriously don't have time to sit and waste on packing.
My tomato trees have begun to bear fruit! They started budding during the week, and now I have small green cherry tomatoes growing. Gosh, I'm excited. The things I get excited about these days. I've become such a domesticated person. I'm not complaining, by the way.
I wanted to write something on here, something specific, but once again, my thoughts are scattered and I don't really remember what I wanted to write about. I'm fast beginning to see how little time I have left in Melbourne, so I suppose I want to make the most of it. At the same time, I'm not spending enough time in Sydney to do anything really productive with my time either at the moment. I'm in limbo in between the two cities. I feel a little like a gypsy, moving from city to city, home to hotel, hotel to place of residence, and soon, even my home will be classified as something different.
My room doesn't feel like my room anymore; my house doesn't feel like my home anymore. It's strange to think I'm moving in January, which sounds far away on paper, but I'm fast realising that I have very little time left. Time is becoming more and more precious to me with every passing day, and I feel like I'm either wasting it away, or procrastinating, or not being productive with my time. I think that's what annoys me a little at the moment.
I'm babbling. My thoughts. They've been scattered, they're not logical, my mind has gone all loony, I feel. I'm used to my mind organising things into little logical sequences, that I can see and map out clearly in my head, and visualise everything. At the moment, I can't see that map. I see bits and segmented pieces, but nothing is flowing, nothing is meeting together.
It's why I'm feeling.. not me. I don't feel lost or confused.. I just feel.. scattered. And I need to break this segregation, and somehow join the dots. But I can't yet see the logical pattern.
I don't think I'm making any sense. It makes sense in my head, though. I just need to find a way to do this. I'm usually pretty good at stuff like this: maybe this is why I'm bothered. That I'm not thinking clearly. I probably am thinking clearly, but it's not clear to me.
I need something solid to hang to, to grasp, to give me a bit of direction. I need to map this out.
It's a very odd feeling. Let's hope it goes away soon. I don't feel like me.
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